Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days. Months. Years. Time. It flies by. From one second to the next, to being 9 years old and suddenly 19, flying time is purely inevitable. My life revolves around a schedule. I plan out every minute of every day, bombarding my desk with weekly post it notes. In those few spare minutes of solemn quietness each day, I find myself appreciating every second lived & every second to come; however, I find a flaw in this way of life in the fact that I give only a minute out of 24 hours to appreciate it all (and there's a lot to appreciate). I am trying so hard to live life by the books: being spontaneous, yet having plans and goals and a future. With a mindset fixed on the future, time is flying by before my eyes.
I recently celebrated my 19th birthday. What struck me was when I realized this is my last year as a teenager. When did I grow up so fast? Sometimes I feel like I am still 16 at heart and then I remember I am an adult. With responsibilities. And a bank account that is slowly dwindling. I am an adult that does not have their life together. How has ten years flown by where I used to be a tiny (literally 60 pound), annoying 5th grader to where I am now (not 60 pounds or completely annoying)? I am sure some of you remember me like this and all I have to say is I am sure thankful for time, as it has done me some justice. On the other hand, between 9 and 19 I have grown into the person I am today from several experiences, influences, and emotions in my life. In this decade of time, I have infinite memories that made me who I am, yet I cannot recall each one. It saddens me to feel like I have taken advantage of those middle school, high school, and even the first half of my college years by focusing on what is ahead and not what is present. Packing up everything I own and starting college seems like yesterday. I was looking through old pictures the other day from first semester, and I cannot believe how fast it has gone. I am almost done with my first year of college, and then what? Three more years of countless memories, no sleep, and flying time? I do not think I am quite ready for the real world, or in fact, I do not think the real world is ready for me. I see myself with so much growth as an individual ahead. When I relate that to how much time it will take, I see merely an entire lifetime for me to reach the individual I hope to become someday. With all that being said, I am challenging myself to stop taking life and its little moments for granted. I am challenging myself to stop letting life happen before my eyes, and start living with it to make every second count. I am challenging myself to live life in the moment, rather than always pursuing the future. One of my favorites, Ernest Hemingway, once said, “Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possibly to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.” Although there's so much ahead and so many dreams to pursue, here’s to being alive every second, minute, hour, day, month, & year. In the end, it all falls into place. Time is inevitably flying by, so I am going to start flying with it.
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